How do you kick out a band member?

Face to face with the other band members present to shiw a united front even if you will be the spokesman. Make sure you are all wearing your boots (cowboy, biker or combat).

Quick, clean, and professional. Gather the band and say you don't want to continue on with that person. If they say why, you can have each member say why. Easiest way out is to say that the band as a whole wants to go into a different direction. If they throw a fit, murder them and use their skull as a cereal bowl.

also, flay them alive before killing them and tan their hide to cut into drum heads... if you think real calf skin sounds good, girly-man-skin sounds better....

Make sure you, and the rest of your band have a clear reason to kick the member, with examples of what is wrong, and potentially a second chance to fix it (I'd recommend a 2nd chance to see if they really can improve their act, if possible). Then when it finally comes to kicking them (If it comes down to it), do it in a pleasant, yet firm way, and make sure you have all of your arguments backed up.

I would disagree with the 2nd chance. Music is one of those rare tines in life where you don't have to compromise if it makes you uncomfortable. What gives a band its sound is lots of lttle compromises that add up to be so much more interesting than just one musician's vision for the songs. On the other hand, when its not working its just not working. Trying to shoe horn the odd man out into a unit thats otherwise on the same page is always an epic fail. And as my buddy Phil says all the time, "if I don't wanna work with you anymore I'm not gonna work with you. No piece of paper can make me if it doesn't feel right." and hes got a Grammy, so....

an original band is a remarkable enterprise where you choose your coworkers. Being all budfy buddy blows the whole beauty of that arrangement and compromises the quality and sense of purpose of your band. Members, like inappropriate gear for the project,are disposable. You can keep them around outside the band context, but the wrong raw material makes the wrong sound. Dropit fast and move on.

...and DON'T use the material THEY wrote. Be honorable and write new stuff.

I mean, if its not working out you don't want to keep any of their ideas, right?

You would think. Plenty of famous examples of people getting kicked from the band and having their music used to boost the new band.

I would feel the same. If I wrote pieces that were later used for a band that didn't like my attitude or whatever, I would be pissed.

I'd disagree, but that's just my instinct, and (Not to sound a bit pathetic) what the Bible calls us to do (Narcy, back me up here!)

Theres a couple of ways you could kick them out. Here's some of my favorites. 1: Tell them that everyone else in the band is quiting... then reform in secret as another band. 2: Tell the guy you want to kick out that he/she would be better as a solo artist! haha! 3: Do what Bowie did to the Spider from Mars... Wait until your last show and announce in front of the audience that this will be the last show you ever perform together. Or you could just like that guy that was in The Manic Street Preachers... Just turn up missing, contact no one (including family) and let the others go on. Did he actually snuff it? Hmmmm

Jesus never had to contend with the perils of the music biz... A&R reps make Pilate look like a teddy bear.