getting better, the guitar paying should be retracked so tis actually in time with the percussion, its frequently way off beat, you play really sloppy 8ths (alternately cut the hihat pattern to quarter notes and try to ebtter sync the other tonal elements to the guitar timing giving it all a human feel... if one guy plays loose you all have to play loose wth him and that goes for sequencers too) and the busy hihat line makes it glaring.... write some mroe songs, this isn't a great work of music, but its the ebst thing you've carried off to date and it shows that if you write 100 songs they'll start to get pretty slick.
FREE ADVICE:
the vocal sits too low in the mix, not level-wise, but it has no air and sounds overly distant, the hihats should not feel closer to me than the vocals unless that's absolutely what you were going after (singing drummer effect?)... try adding detail with a steep shelf above the sibilance range (what they call 'air' in pro circles), I would start at 10k and slowly try moving t up until the vocal pops forward without actually sounding like tis been EQed. Tone down the autotune too, subtle, not heavy, you sound like Cher. Its a simple enough arrangement that the lack of definition and muddiness of the instrumentation can be forgiven since you managed to keep the actual aprts from fighting too hard. In general try to visualize 'the band' when you are mixing. Not just elft to right but front to back. Base your decisions on that 3D mental image.
But honestly I would say its a decent enough first foray but its got enough warts that you should just move on now. Take what you learned making it, learn some new tricks and apply them to the next piece....
so go and write another one, and then a dozen more... have fun. When writing the next one remember that there are certain signature harmonic devices inr eligious music that you may want to incorporate. Particularly look up the Plagal Cadence and consider making use of it to resolve a chord sequence in the next one. Yo're right on the edge of it in this song as written so why not go for it? Just enerally look up stuff about religious music from plainsong to gospel and try to draw on that. If you want a spiritual journey for the sltiener making those classic christian music references that go abck to the birth of western music is a great place to start. Work on the sognwriting, then cherry pick the ebst ones and get into arranging and producing those. Crank out the ideas for a while so you have soemthing really meaty to hone your recording, sound design and mixing chops on....
