HEY KIDS! Let Uncle Jim mix your band's next recording.

Tired of point and click? Plugins that look like gear you saw in Mix and EQ that just never sound right? Not sure what dBfs means? Or what they mean by gain staging? Don't know a REsistor from a TRANsistor or a diode from a dual triode? Think transformers are all made on cybertron?

Stop worrying about it! Just let Uncle Jim mix your next recording in hs splendiferous home studio of doom. No job too big or too small, no recording too scrappy :-)

DAWs: protools harrison Mixbus 32C Cubase 11 Ableton 10 (soon to be 11) FL Studio 20 dell xps with i9 processor 10th gen and 64g ram, intel optane memory, dual 1tb SSD internals and USB 3.0 ports for external SSDs. Very very powerful. NO LOGIC! Apple ruined it, I miss emagic.... and I'm a mac hater now. I do have multiple boot setups for win10, linux and soon to be high sierra (blecjh) once they support all my plugins.... but screw apple and the horse they rode in on. Twice burned and once bitten, burned down, fell over and then sunk into the swamp? Fool me once, shame on, shame on... wont get fooled again. And there are tape machines around too. I can make your drums all retro if you really want that... I have smpte and mts timecode outs and machines that will record them on a track and sync to them. You don't really want that though, its an extra hassle, for what? All my youth we were trying tog et RID of tape hiss and artifacts.

i/o and conversion Motu 828es Motu 24Ao both have sabre converters, 10inputs and 30 outputs focusrite claret octopre with whatever focusrite gives you these days on the good gear, 8 in and 8 out up to 96k over smux. I mostly use the sabres... this guy isn't even hooked up anymore.

Consoles/mixers/summing: modified 82ish Soundcraft 400b 16:8:2 (with 4 independent stereo submixes, not just assignments and 4 mono aux returns) Crest X rack (when you need more submixes to create high customized aux sends and returns) ashly lx308 stereo line mixer rane stereo line mixers x4 mackie onyx 1620 and 1620i (HAHAHAHA, just kidding, I wouldn't use these to mix) another 24 frame soundcraft frame is headed to my buddy's tracking studio for repairs and mods now and I'm sourcing the channels and busses I prefer for it so eventually I'll be expanding.... what's a few more inches of floor space for 8 extra inputs?!

EQ: soundcraft board EQ, 4 band semi parametric w/hpf, similar to trident 80 series x16 modified and retubed klark teknic (behringer) pultec clones x2 orban 622b stereo parametric Urei notch filters x2 drawmer 1974 stereo parametric

dynamics: Warm Audio bus comp ART pwm limiter ADL stereo LA2A clone, modified Art pro VLA 1 and 2 matched pair chinese neve diode bridge clones, separate compressor AND limiter gates solid statesman 60s? diode bridge limiter (really a 20:1 compressor) attack as low as 3 microseconds, yes micro and the dirtiest line amps in town x2 orban 422 stereo symetrix 501 mono with idnependent comp and limiter sections x2 symetrix 522 comp/limit/expand/gate/duck stereo x2 symetrix 525 comp/gate stereo x1 Orban co-operator soft knee comrpessor and HF limiter modded alesis 3630 stereo alesis 3632 stereo RNC RNLA x1 (I probably won't use this, its funny though) alison research rack system w/ gain brain mono fet compressor x4 and kepex gates x2 (the sound of 70s drums) dbx 160a x1 dbx 163x x2 and probably some other stuff I don't like as much

effects: tapco solid state stereo spring reverb roland sre555 chorus echo (space echo with stereo chorus and spring reverb) dynacord dynecho tape delay lexicon PCM60 reverb Lexicon alex multifx Lexicon mx200 and 400 yamaha spx90 multi fx yamaha rev 5 and 7 verbs Lexicon PCM41 delay TC electronic primetime multifx art 8 bit delay 80s TOA 12 bit multitap delay, 3 independent delay lines with phase and other pwoerful features Muse receptor as plugin host for altiverb to be used analog w/o wasting outputs, receives audio submix from interface over ADAT or SMUX depending on sample rate Homemade pentode line amps, good for adding harmonics to lifeless busses or DI bass guitar.

Lots more stuff in my closets.

reamp boxes DIs and a bevy of vintage or not so vintage guitar fx as well as vintage tube amplifiers (send me some DI! I've got 60s and 50s gear)

plugins: plugin alliance mix/master suite slate mix rack waves mercury lots of other stuff, thousands... I use plugins sparingly and try to stick to what they're good at. Like typing a precisely calculated time cosntant where it siply MUST pop rhythmically.... or like bit crushing and IRs.... but some of the slate and PA stuff is quite good and covers sounds I don't have at my fingertips

Stop stressing out while you but up against the limitations of your computer, skillset and maybe even a prosumer interface, ust let the middle aged guy do it.... rates negotiable, samples available on soundcloud and I am happy to do half a song as demo before talking budget and downpayment. Balance not to be paid until you're satisfied (unless you ask me to ruin a perfectly good mix to humor a band member who wants to be hella loud, then you can have the bad version at a discount and don't put my name on it LOL). I am fast and friendly (ok, not really, but I'm working on it, I'm at least fast). I will not charge you hourly. Rates are per song based on recording and rough mix (or lack thereof) and the challenges it will pose me and the kidna attitude you have (I want to give you what you want, but I can't make the ramones into ABBA and I don't like being micromanaged in the way I achieve your vision although creative suggestions are more than welcome, let me worry about the gain staging and stuff though). If it takes me longer than expected I stand by my initial quote. I am available to talk during business hours EST 7 days a week until herd immunity is reached globally. Zoom available if you want to hear bad audio on a big delay and watch me nodding my head and scratching my chine, rewinding, rewinding, then cranking one knob and scratching my chin, looking all wise and sagacious. Its really boring for other people, trust me. That's why studios have lounges with pool tables!

I can start your project in late march or early april. I am currently involved in 2 projects, a metal EP due to arrive soon they need done by the end of march... and a long multi album live tracked trip hop thing that can be backburnered to put you on deck after the metal record.

I've pitched this before but the home studio is really tweaked out now since covid hit and I can do it up from home in the style I'm accustomed to. I've got a red velvety command chair that makes everything sound better when I'm sitting at my console. I'm bored and will work cheap to keep busy. Gear list is always expanding! Ask me about my fried pickles.

I don't have a band and my Mom already has a home studio...

...But I would like to ask about the Fried Pickles...

They're crunchy/soggy.

'bout time. It's felt like this has been brewing for awhile. I was about to suggest you put yourself out there again. What are the rates?

Depends. For simple 3 to 5 piece rock bands who have reasonably decent multitracks and have already edited and comped takes I would do 50 bucks a song. If you want to make abbey road and need production work? More. Sound design for midi? More. So like 50 to 250 a song. I'm bored and would enjoy doing whatever, man. I started here because I can do blowout rates for a rock band. I can mix a competently recorded rock song in like 2 to 8 hours. Some of which is setup.

This is really cool of you. I've always been impressed with your knowledge on everything. I'm sure that your studio would be great. My friend I used to have a band back in high school a million years ago, and we've been talking about getting back together once COVID stuff starts to get better. If we start an old man band, I may have to reach out to you for help.

Roger that. I'm here building a side car putting the short screws on the long slots without washers... I can make a tube amp but I cant build a 40ru piece of studio furniture first try

They're crunchy/soggy.

Crunchy/Soggy Dill?

Ask James Woods

I hope you'll be raising these very affordable rates once you've got a fresh CV of projects?

Ask James Woods

I have no idea what reference that is.

splendiferous home studio of doom

Is this the official moniker?

yes

I'm confused, where's my pickle?

I said ask me about my fried pickles.... you asked, I told you about them

splendiferous home studio of doom

Is this the official moniker?

I'm trying to reinvent myself as a willy wonka like character....

I said ask me about my fried pickles.... you asked, I told you about them

Okay, thank you mister Wonka...

Don't thank me, thank my oompa loompas for saving your @$$ after you tried to put the bad touch on my pickle, ya perv

SLUGWORTH!

splendiferous home studio of doom

Is this the official moniker?

the non-homestudio that's more of an art collective space where the trash godz and half my synths land some of my guitars and amps live is Party Headquarters, but we're taking it easy in the pandemic. Everyone is being cautious although i was there last night... I picked up this really sweet tascam deck Mike just serviced up. Anyway... my friend Mike keeps calling my home studio Party Annex