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OFF TOPIC

as some of you know I went to cooking school so I'm going to start posting my recipes in off-topic.... they are all knockout good and very original

Autumn mac n cheese

1/2 box elbow or mini-shell macaroni (I usually like de cecco, but barilla holds up really well in the oven and really any brand will do if you don't care how mushy your pasta gets)

4 to 8 ozs canned jumbo lump crabmeat (rinsed and sifted for shell)

8 ozs+ butternut squash cubed (often available precut at the supermarket)

3 slices of bacon

2 tablespoons of butter

1 tablespoon of olive oil

1 tablespoon of flour

1 cup of heavy cream

1/4 cop sour cream

1small shallotte diced very small

2 teaspoons Dijon mustard

teaspoon ground nutmeg

teaspoon paprika

1/2 teaspoon ground mustard powder

1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1/4 teaspoon west indian of madras curry powder (optional)

1/2 cup grated gruyere cheese (the more expensive it is the better your mac will taste)

1/2 cup grated Havarti cheese

1/2 cup grated cheddar (any old shit will do)

4 slices Cooper sharp American or similar

1/2 cup grated parmesan, pecorino or locatelli cheese (not out of a jar, real shit from Italy)

1/2 cup preseasoned breadcrumbs

1/2 cup panko breadcumbs

1/2 cup of cheez-its (not Nips or any other brand... plain are best, but tabasco, pepper jack etc can add some zazz if you feel daring... and yes, I know my cooking teachers would be shocked by this, but you have to try it, cheez-its can be an ingredient, really)

preheat oven to 450 farenheit

In a food processor, pulse the cheez-its until they are ground coarsely, the texture of breadcrumbs.

steam the butternut squash until its mushy and reserve... if you have a pot with a pasta insert an steamer you can reuse the water to boil your pasta assuming you add a couple tablespoons of salt to it.... either way, boil the pasta for exactly 1 minute less than the minimum cook time.

In a large enameled dutch oven cook the bacon until its crispy and all the fat is laying in the pan,remove it and crumble it into a bowl... then melt 1/2 a tablespoon of the butter into the bacon grease over medium heat, then sautee the shallot until its translucent adding salt and freshly ground pepper to taste. Wisk in the flour and cook it until it forms a smooth paste (about 5 minutes). Add the dry mustard and other ground spices, then wisk in the heavy cream and Dijon. thicken the cheese sauce over medium (or lower) heat whisking constantly. When the sauce has thickened a little stir in the gruyere, Havarti and American slices until they are thoroughly incorporated and remove from the heat. If you have a food mill, place it over the pot and process the squash thru the largest disk, if you don't have a food mill pulse the squash in a food processor until it is the consistency of lumpy oatmeal and then add it to the cheese sauce. Stir the squash gunk into the sauce thoroughly and taste. Now is the time to salt and peper the sauce the way you want it so think hard when tasting it and season wisely! If you have fresh tarragon you might want to chop some up and stir it in, tarragon is pretty zazzy in this dish but not essential. Once the sauce is tasting right, incorporate the cooked pasta. and set aside.

In a medium sautee pan melt the remaining butter over medium medium-high heat. Meanwhile, in a work bowl mix the panko, ground cheezits and seasoned breadcrumbs with the olive oil and parmesean cheese (a salad fork generally works well for this) and then add the moistened bredcrumbs to the pan with the butter and toast until slightly browner than they started, about 5 minutes, then remove from the heat. Grease an appropriately sized baking dish with butter (corningware is a good call here, do NOT use metal) and reduce the oven heat to 375. Mix the crumbled bacon into the breadcrumb mixture. Next you want a big ladel and a rubber baking spatula. Gently fold the crabmeat and sour cream into the macaroni mixture attempting to leave some large lumps but also break up some of it so it distributes evenly. Ladel about a third of the macaroni mixture into the baking dish, smoothing it with the spatula, then sprinkle it with shredded cheddar. Repeat this process until all the macaroni and sauce is in the baking dish, then evenly cover the top with the toasted breadcrumb mixture and place it in the oven. Bake for 1 hour or until the breadcrumbs start to singe around the edges (you will smell the toasty bread smell), whichever comes first.

Serve it to people who like comfort food and remember to credit me as the creator of this dish!

If you don't like crab meat (like my son) then you can omit it and the dish is still bangin'

for a thinner sauce sub 1 and 1/4 cups of whole milk for the cup of heavy cream or try 1 and a 1.4 cups of light cream and omit the sour cream (though the sour cream adds a lot of bite to offset the crab/squash sweetness and highlights the nuttiness of the gruyere and parm)

GEAR:
  • Roland Juno-6
  • Gibson SG Standard
  • Vox AC30 Guitar Combo Amp

Gear Porn anyone?

http://www.sweetwater.com/store/detail/MassivePassive

you should try one, its sexy sometimes across a mix buss to tweak the overall shape of a track but its not ALL THAT... very much a upper-refined pultec

GEAR:
  • Roland Juno-6
  • Gibson SG Standard
  • Vox AC30 Guitar Combo Amp

Gear porn indeed...

https://reverb-res.cloudinary.com/image/upload/s--Esj5Nk03--/a_exif,c_limit,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_south,h_620,q_auto:eco,w_620/v1468511175/bxghviqsfwvtjkdt1cju.jpg

Also, Jim, I didn't know you cooked! Maybe I'll try that recipe sometime.

is that a knockoff 355?

yes, I cook really well, been at it since highschool...

I make an impress meal 5 to 7 nights a week these days... I am debating ordering pizza tonight as I am hella tired though.

But yeah, try the recipe, I created it for my toddler. its like gourmet kids food.

GEAR:
  • Roland Juno-6
  • Gibson SG Standard
  • Vox AC30 Guitar Combo Amp

It's a knockoff of a 345 with the varitone. Saw it on Reverb for $1k. Looks pretty cool to me. Never tried a 345, though. Really want to.

Never been a good cook. I really should cook more because in a few years I'll be in a college and I'll probably end up like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuljNfxjTh8

Midterms coming up soon. Gonna sticky this recipe until the end of next week.

that's how my dead wife ate when left to her own devices... marshmallows and jimmy dean sausage on a bed of fruitloops...

yum

its shameful to reach the age of 18 and not be able to make yourself a reasonable dinner

also, cooking skills get you laid.... seriously

GEAR:
  • Roland Juno-6
  • Gibson SG Standard
  • Vox AC30 Guitar Combo Amp

I wasn't really given many chances to actually cook. Mom just did it on her own, as did my dad. Both my sisters know how to cook, but that was out of necessity due to the sudden reality of living alone doing something like eating ramen noodles everyday or something of the sort.

Hell... I'll do it tomorrow morning when I come home from work. No point putting it off.

you might want to try something easy first

GEAR:
  • Roland Juno-6
  • Gibson SG Standard
  • Vox AC30 Guitar Combo Amp

Yeah, I just started to read your thing and I panicked because I don't know what a dutch oven is.

Or a food processor.

wut

I never tried out a guitar pedal.

it is 0:22 here in the evening and i have no idea and instead of doing my homework I'm searching on Getty Images to find photo of Bloc Party's gear

Btw, thanks to Giulio, I have some incredible headphones now. Appreciate it!

AIAIAI TMA-2 headphones?

Plugged Crown ones. They work ingeniously.

few things about pedals though : they are extremely hard to get here, they are expensive (Boss DD-7 here costs about 400-450 dollars and I'm dead serious) and most of those who are easy to get are Behringers. And ew, I've heard those in action. Only fuzzes work good.

Yeah, I just started to read your thing and I panicked because I don't know what a dutch oven is.

Or a food processor.

wut

A dutch oven is when you fart in bed while under the covers. If someone is in bed beside you, you grab the sheets and pull them up and over their head, trapping them in the hot and humid nightmare. A sauna that uses boiled eggs and feet instead of water.

Narcist, I would start with breakfast foods first. Nearly everyone enjoys breakfast and it has a wide range of difficulty degrees and cooking times. Start off with just eggs, biscuits, pancakes, etc and eventually work your way up to Quiche, Hollandaise, and Crepes. You would be surprised how many people out there cannot cook an egg the way it's asked for. Being able to master egg cooking, utilizing different temperatures, agitations, and seasonings is where I would start first. It's not enough just to be able to cook an egg the way YOU like. You will have guests, friends, and eventually your own children to cook for at some point and you will want to be able to please them.

My area of hatred personally is the grill. I can bake and use a stove just fine, but I cannot EVER get the exact results I want with a grill. It's just too much information and strategy to weild for just an occasional cooking type for me.

it took me until I was 30 to master BBQ, AKA charcoal grilling... the grill is a frustrating piece of equipment Boom

gas is a little more forgiving because its mainly a high temp, direct heat affair (or should be as there's little to be gained flavor wise from slow, indirect gas cooking.... you might as well use your oven).... if you have issues with gas grilling consider that you might need to look at your grill. Does it have good cast iron grates? How many burners and BTUs? Like music gear, not all ags grills are created equal and a mediocre gas grill is never going to give you the pro results you want. You can however trick it out like a squire guitar.... but there are limits to what you can achieve.

anyway, good suggestion about breakfast.... once you make a few successful omlettes the mother sauces like hollandaise don't seem that ahrd when you try thm. Pancakes are easy and are not far from crepes.... maybe I'll post Narcy my whole-wheat pancake recipe....

GEAR:
  • Roland Juno-6
  • Gibson SG Standard
  • Vox AC30 Guitar Combo Amp

Posted 40 minutes ago... It's 0630 and I just woke up not feeling terribly tired. Probably just the espresso, I'll gp back to bed.

Thanks, guys.

Hi. Im Juan Salgado, from Scharas. Regards from Chile.

Hi Jaun, welcome to the board. It's been years since I've been to Chili's.

http://www.fairdealmusic.co.uk/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/1ad2536b4e0b64b5213084f52c752e7f/c/l/clarett-8prex_front-straight_lr.jpg

I just thought on something. What if someone made an online order at a restaurant; We'll say a Subway Sandwich shop, and in the comments sections you added "Make certain there are 40 olives on the sandwich or I will kill myself in your store's bathroom". Would they take this seriously? If THEY did, would the cops? Would the cops pay you a visit? Is suicide something they must prevent and if not, would they respond merely because the kill site would be in public.

These things and more plague my mind.