Jokes

I keep coming up with little nerdy, sad guitar jokes. If you'd oblige me I'll put some up, and if anybody else has any I can add to my collection it'd be cool if you could put them on as well.

The only guitar jokes I have are by Glenn Fricker. He's the only guy I've heard to make legitimate jokes, and even he is insulting at times.

Fire away, Duke.

oh hey, how many guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

?

100 of course, 1 to screw it in and 99 more to explain how they woulda screwed it in better

two guitarists walk into a bar, the first one turns to the barkeep and says "I'll have a rum and coke"....

I lost my notebook! I'll start remembering.

I do love Glenn, though he is very annoying.

I found a few to pass the time on the net,

Q: What’s the difference between a Lead Guitarist and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q: What did the blues guitarist’s tombstone read? A: “I didn’t wake up this morning.”

Q: What do you call a successful guitarist? A: A guy whose wife has 2 jobs.

Q: What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend? A: Homeless

the last 2 are supposed to be drummer jokes

Okay then. Hot off the press.

Q: Which guitar technique does George Osborne struggle with?

A: Economy picking

Bass player walks into a bar

Ouch

a guitarist walks into a bar and orders a drink.... don't tell his AA sponsor though

Jim Marchione walks into a bar.

This beer's crap, an AC30 would be better.

this going to sound crazy because I have had mainly voxy stuff for the last decade, but I am seriously thinking of buying my friend's blackface tremolux head that he never uses... I kinda miss my bandmaster rig, but it was a little too loud and punchy, the tremolux is like a slightly lower power bandmaster with a tube rectifier so it has a little sag when turned up, very much in the super-reverb camp of fender amps for power stage feel... so if I can budget the cost into my world I think that tremolux is coming into the stable

I'm with you on that, personally I love Fender amps (Well soundwise, because, from what I can gather from personal experience, and horror stories, they're unreliable, and injury prone). If I could go with one amp, I remember thinking it would these blackface Fender actually, but I can remember which one it is, and it's gonna bug me so much, dammit.

Merry Christmas y'all!

I'm with you on that, personally I love Fender amps (Well soundwise, because, from what I can gather from personal experience, and horror stories, they're unreliable, and injury prone). If I could go with one amp, I remember thinking it would these blackface Fender actually, but I can remember which one it is, and it's gonna bug me so much, dammit.

Merry Christmas y'all!

All the Fenders I have owned were indestructible, but I've never had one built after '75. The Tremolux I might buy is obviously an old one as the blackface Tremolux head has never been reissued. I can't speak for or against modern Fenders other than to say that even the reissue amps have cabinet rattling at volume from the factory and need to be taken apart, tightened up and padded out with weatherstripping before you can record with them. I have heard some horror stories about fender's new stuff second hand, but I've seen lots of guys gig the shit out of their hot rod and blues branded amps with no difficulties. By the same token I have heard a lot of guys make those models sound really good, but when I plug into one I think I sound like dog's ass no matter what I do with the controls. I guess they just don't suit my playing style. I feel all muffled and boomy or thing and harsh, whereasthrough an old fender I can sound like myself wthout any fussing around. I just stay away from new Fender because of the cabinet rattling, the fact that the reissues don't quite act like a real deal old one (which throws off my playing) and the fact that I can't figure out how to get good sounds form the modern designs even though I KNOW they are very capable amps.

Happy Jingley to you too.... off to a family affair shortly to drink wine I didn't pay for and stuff my face with camembert.

I'm a midnight mass man, it's not crimbo already is it. Your -5 right.

no, its x-mas eve, but traditionally my aunt throws an adults-only party at her place tonight and this year is no different.... I made my famous cranberry chutney, bought a Malbec, fresh baguette and some camenbert and I am off to get 'festive' like Rudolph, red nose style!

A little late to the party, BUT...

How do you get a guitarist to stop playing?

Put music in front of him.

BOOM.

that would be funnier for me if I knew more than 3 guitarists/bassists who don't read music